I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
