What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
