Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
