don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize