We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
