SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
