pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
