this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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