Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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