3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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