guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Come on in and take your pants off
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