do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
