Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
