whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
