Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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