the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
