Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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