We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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