he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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