3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
