Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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