what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
she peed on how many people?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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