Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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