i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
this boner is exhausting
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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