i think i have herpe
just one?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
