jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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