I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
