Your tits are I can't wait for
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize