Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
