apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
