he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
sex in a hospital.. check
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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