My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize
