Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
