I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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