areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
