I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
All the doctor said was why
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
