oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
