Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
