I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize