All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
