fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
