farters have to be the big spoon...
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
