I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
