how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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