Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
