you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
