Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Randomize
