C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
