Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
