the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
