I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize