o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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