I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
