I must be too annoying 4 u.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
