that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
