hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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