I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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