i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
