i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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